an_tagonist

I have moved:D

Oh more memories(:
Bye flens!

Jane

Just finished watching
Lemony Snickets: A Series Of Unfortunate Events:D

Old english dressing and stuff, great graphics, pretty characters.
Emily Browning and Liam Aiken and the baby have very very nice eyes:D

Jane

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

Haha!
Love
is such a complex thing.
Climb harder, fall harder.
It's so apprehensive, it can't make up its mind sometimes.
Pull push pull push, oh the tension on heartstrings(: And heartache is literal. My daddy's conclusion that people with artificial hearts do feel heartache too. It's all in the mind(:
Sometimes i wonder.
Holding on for what little joy it gives, or giving up on all the pain.
Give up on all the joy, and all the pain?
And then coming back, wanting more, falling so many times harder.
Each climb comes with a fall.
When will permanance ever come?
What is love?
I said in cat class: Oh, after you get married to the person for 50 years then you still happy about it, then that's love:D
Kinda, hahaaha.
I think love teaches people lots too.
Sometimes it's a parody of life.
Love makes you laugh at yourself.
Looking back, it just makes you burst out laughing sometimes thinking about all the crazy things you did when you were in love.
It's like an up and down climb of life.
You think, 'Okay, MISTAKE, CANNOT DO IT AGAIN'.
But you still end up doing it anyway.
And sometimes you hear about from a friend and you just wanna go, "You did what? How could you?"
And then the friend just shrugs and you're rather increduled.
Doesnt that prove, in a post-modernism way, about uncertainty, hahahaa.
Oh rationality, oh practicality, oh emotions.
Isn't that what the fight is all about then.
And you just go "I'm gonna get a boyfriend next year, eh wait, IP2 exams, J1, wait, adaption+promos, J2, olevels, from then on, army, oh, career".
Hahhaah, and then it's just gonna be 'when then, when then" HAHA sonn(:
But then again, the marks and traces will always remain, like a small scribble here and there, like drawing without an eraser.
Then some years down the road you'll be all: "Check out my age ___ results man, horrible right, ya lor, because that year right...."
It's like playing on a violin, the song's gone, but the strings are always there.
Then you have stuff like The Notebook about waiting 7 years and all that drama.
This kind of 1 percent thing right... Hahaha, but it happens!
That's what makes human human. Shaped by experience for life.
And suddenly in this very after-11am reckless way, if someone asks me if they should go for it or whatever, i'll just say "Yeah go touch the fire and get yourself burnt, you'll learn".

I hope i'm not getting too cynical, HAHA.

Edit:/ 12 mins later.
Hmmm, i still have this perfect image of love though.
It's like a person one can whole-heartedly trust.
Man i went to read a blog and now i'm all nua-ey:D Haha wanna know whose blog!
Beats me how people our age can fall in love and really, really make it seem like it's love.
Maybe it is. Only time will tell.
There's always this part of me, apprehensive, hesitant me, who believes in being self-reliant.
Independance and a pursuit of happiness alone.
It's odd isn't it.
Love transcends all.
Makes you nua-ey, irrational, generous, giving, unpractical, crazy, emotional, insane...
All whacked up in one person and you're like
Is a person really capable of feeling that much at a time?

I honestly wonder when i'm ever gonna say ILY to anyone, HAHA, because to me, love never ends.
Everytime we see some teen couple, we'll just think 'nah, they'll break up some day'.

Time, it's ticking.

Jane

PSLE

My brother got back his prelim results today.
To add to the pressure, my mom took my and my older brother's PSLE scores and averaged them and concluded that his PSLE results would be within close proximity.
Ehhh, Ender's game ah. Peter+Valentine=Andrew.
And then there's the pro-sji talk. Affiliation 238 non-affiliation 244, with 40% of boys coming from affiliated schools.
I'm starting to think that co-ed is not for secondary schools.
Either way i think my parents will surely chiong for single-sex schools, like they did for me and my older brother.

:O It costs $6388 to stay a year in Vhall.

Jane

1.15am, talking to Tezz.
And i'm wondering,

What i was doing, just 5 months ago.
Honestly, but what was i doing.
Sometimes i hardly believe what's happening.

Looking back on those days when i was just being so high and just letting the emotions take control,
I can really say that i feel old and grey.
Now i feel really down-to-earth and sane, like a hundred and eighty degree change from what life used to be like for me.
But those happiness, really were short-term werent they, so superficial and just letting the days pass.
It was living every day like there was no tomorrow, tests, flunk, phone calls every night and 2.8k messages.
I have no idea what i was doing.
Reckless oh reckless.
And now i'm all guaikia and normal again, smiling every day, contented with my drama-free life.

How different, how different.


Jane

Hungry hungry,
I want pocky.

Jane

( bad dreams )


Was reading my old blog posts, as i always do frequently, and hmmm, oh the memories.
Stark contrast.
And i realized, i'm only super when i'm with God.


Jane

holding splits and random dances.

I'm stressed.
No more.

Jane

Yoohoo.

Today was a day of
-Losing a hair tie on the bus.
-Taking a train to dhoby and missing the stop ending up in Clarke Quay.
-Taking it back to Dhoby.
-Taking red line back to Jurong East which was the wrong direction.
-Dropping off at Somerset and taking it backwards.
-And finally coming back to City hall, taking 40 mins when the trip was supposed to be 7+11+3 mins, and 36 mins after 10am?
-Esplanadeee:DD
-Esplanade rooftop garden is nice!
-Asked the customer service if some kind soul had returned my pencil box(box, literally), nope.
-Misplaced my entire purse. Purse plus handphone summore, want to cor also cannot cor.
-Heng got it at the customer who told me to 'be careful'.
-Lunch at Pastamania plus cheese.
-Ran around Funan asking for pink thumbdrive.
Me: Uncle dyou have pink thumbdrive?
Shop dude: Thumbdrive? Have. Wait. Pink? Oh you want pink ah, you buy spray paint lor, i spray for you pink color.
-Back to Esplanade, too sleepy.
-Distracted by ballerinas. Like wl, the tv there was showing ballerinas and it's so cool. It's graceful and so eeeffortless noone knows how many ounces of muscles they have in those long legs. And when the male ballerina picks the female ballerina up by her tiny waist it's like his hand can wrap around it and she's feather-light.
-Rushing for cat class.
-Cat class was some handholding game oh gee.
-Decision making. This is my takeback for today and i remembered the CCC number summore;D

CCC #1713 - Man is obliged to follow the moral law which urges him "to do what is good and to avoid what is evil."  This law makes itself heard in the conscience.

Then i thought about recklessness.
There's always this train of thought that goes through my mind, and most significantly before i send an sms.
Eh don't send don't send cannot send. Aiya send la send la. Eh but inside got something mean leh, later the person take it seriously how. Cannot cannot. Aiya just friendly suanning la just send, this is called 'reckless and in the moment ok'.
-click send-
Oh shooot, hahhaa.

Oh and purchase of the day:
Super chio purple mouse leather with floral printing, flat and squarish retractable wire and comes with black pouch!
Weee, classic chio ok:D

Jane
 

Why don't you kiss her?
-Jesse McCartney

Shoot, i need better things to do aside from reading love stories.
And i have this permanantly sappy smile on my face.

:D

Jane

Done procrastinating, should i start studying?

Jane

HP Mini(:

Hooyeah, the new HP mini's here after weeks and weeks of shouting between me and john hoho.
3 coms now:D
And the best thing is that it's mine:D:D:D:D:D:D:D + the webcam!(:

There's no stopping me and my late nights in the holidays now:D
I can put it under my pillow and sleep on it and noone will know;D
It needs a pink skin:D

Jane

Two is better than one
- Boys like Girls feat. Taylor Swift

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out
When it's all said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

!
EHHH SO SWEET HAHAHA.

Okay so Christine thought i needed some neutralization, so she asked me to go for this.
So i listened and i realized that it was our conditioning song before with Andy, in the 2008 December holidays:D

Single
-Natasha Bedingfield

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you
Yeah

I'm not waiting around for a man to save me
('Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me... whole

Make your move if you want
Doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up
You either got it or you don't

[Chorus:]
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm trading places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I'm gonna be

Ah yeah uh huh that's right

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

[Repeat Chorus]

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm trading places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I'm gonna be

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single

Everything in it's right time everything in its right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way... it's my way
Yes I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm trading places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm trading places
Right now a star's in the the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I'm gonna be
(repeat)

LOL
Okay so i'm like in some state of GG of EOYs, have no idea how to revise and where to start and ahhhhhh.
But on the brighter side, i bought lakerols!:D Strawberry and grapefruit:D

I should stop procrastinating revision and zuowen now.
Awww man now i'm listening to In the Club by 2NE1 and it's so sad.
2NE1 songs really make me laugh sometimes, it's like really unfeasible cause they make the guy sound like a very unrealistic cheater.

Jane

Awesome parents

This is a post dedicated to my awesome parents who're there for me day and night.
Today i plonked my distraught self (AS USUAL, EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT OR SO) on the dining table and was on the verge of tears literally cause i only just remembered physics homework.
I can't convert gram per cm cube to kilogram per metre cube.
Idk what i was doing during conversions this year and last year but yeah so i was sad:(
Then i asked my brother.
Me: Eh ask you ah. Why is the dam thinner as it goes upwards?
Brother: Orh. You see ah. -points to pot- This is a pot of luo han guo. You say the bottom pressure more or the top pressure more leh. Of course bottom right. So ya. The bottom got more pressure, so thicker.
Me: Oh.
Then i asked my mother.
Mother: Cannotcannotcannot. -picks up phone to call father- Eh can come back quickly, Jane needs help.
(as always)

Then the father comes homeee:D
And he does everything for me:D
Hee hee:D
Yay for awesome father who helps me with my homework while i sleep on the dining table :X

backtoschool!

Jane

We'll see our name in citylights



I want my Esplanade!
I am sniffly and whiny and i want peanut porridge.
Bad headache during piano, didn't wanna talk.
So just listened about What's Happening In Local JCs now.
It's more of like a 'when you suppress something and you finally show it it becomes a major disaster, many many times worse'.
But hush hush, only the authorities have the ugly statistics.

me: 花生粥!
mother: FINE I OPEN A CAN OF PEANUTS FOR YOU.

How ah, i can't get any work done.

Jane

Mad
-Ne-yo
is kinda sweet(: i like the chordy piano things:D

Weeeeeee
Esplanade owes me my pencilcase now. D:
I got up first thing in the morning to re-stock on stationery into the paperchase pencilcase that Grace gave me.
Ya la, what talking me paperchase yesterday. But i'll survive:D
With no mirror in class and i lost a picture of that house.
Checklist item #1 after EOYs: Go gaga over pictures of houses. :D

Ehhh i was staring at Jack&Danny guitars and ooh i want a hot pink one.
I must say my brother's new guitar is nice.
It has this Maple cream neck that i must admit i've never seen before, plus zebra backing and smells nice!:D

I think we all take life too seriously some times.
I shall take time to get used to Weikang's form of suan humour.

( weeeee )


Jane

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way(:

Library@esplanade
was awesome!
Haha my first time at the Esplanade!:D

Okay i shall go all desciptive writing before i talk about what happened after that.
So yeah it was superb.
It makes you want to curl up in a corner with a cup of steaming hot belgian chocolate, paperchase notebook in hand nibbling on a pink parker pen in a nice little dress.
And the scenery is like superb. Get sick of close-vision stuff, look up, voila it's the whole CBD.
Nicer than the bus trips we have when the VJ bus goes to town.
And that was in the afternoon.
At night i suppose they'll on the romantic spotlights, and the silhouettes of the whole CBD will come alive like that and you can just sit there contemplating.
Just you wait i'll do that someday hohoho.
And i'll do it myself.
Or or i shall drag Christine along(honorable mention here) and we shall dream and dream about our future life in the CBD, like how we always do when we go for our occassional camp in town:D

Okay reality reality.

Oh and after that was horrible mama i had the worse mrt/bus trip of my life trying to get back thanks to Cafe Latte and Blueberry Cheesecake and now i'm home and i'm feeling all faint and i can't eat i have to hold stuff for support.
IDK what to do tonight cause i'm not in the mood to do anything thanks to the horrible tummyache the food gave me.
So yeah, avoid the cafe latte and blueberry cheesecake and paracetomol strawberry milkshake there.
Actually the cheesecake was okay.
Maybe it was the 1 packet of raw sugar + 3 packets of (processed?) sugar that i emptied into the cafe latte but lesson learnt la huh.

Okay week.
2 3am nights, tummyache and a tailbone fall, plus some unfruitful mugging but blah, God will make a way, won't He(:!

Jane

Topic: 'i like sensitive guys'

Joavan says:

oh really

i do to

their like so totally easy to talk to

and they get u u know

and their like so not afraid to show their emotions

its so hot

I was on the  verge of dropping into emoland. Like seriously just falling into emoland and affective fallacying everything. Until monzter cheered me up.
Now i'm torn between laughing and crying but honestly it's 2.09am what am i doing.

Okay gonna go camp in air-con soon for awkward silence session tmr.

Jane

super awesome:D

Champagne grape sweet talk
+ 3 rounds round the track downstairs
+ the 10th floor dog
+ dancing to I Don't Care
+ a mix of the esperanza song
+ Circus Line One
+ All that Jazz
+ I don't care original dance
+ Nobody dance
+ Stronger
+ the warm up stuff we do for electives
+ cold shower
+ rainforest
+ apricot scrub HEH
+ dinner waiting downstairs
+ the prospect of air-con tonight (woweee)
+ tmr, maybe a session of awkward silence, hoho

= fabulous awesome happy little jane

Ooh i like Obsessed by MC:D

Jane

Feeling blue-y last night over dad's birthday cake.
Haha he bought the same one as me!

Me: Eh i thought you say your EQ very high one. Tell me some ways to make girls happy.
Brother: Oh i know. Got a few standard ones sure make girls happy. Happy meal.

P: The Happy Meal Theory.
E: For when girls are sad.
E: Girls eat little. Girls like the toy. Eat happy meal already then happy.
L: Sure work one.

Counter point: Except hor, when too many girls, then don't know who to give to.

Analyzing bottom line:
Actually i thought of it and i realized it's quite sweet HAHA.
$4.10 happy meal to make a girl happy, hahahha.
I mean really la. If you offer me 2 and 3 hotcakes i'll take 2.

Okay i'm not making sense.

Jane